Why aren’t more leaders getting intimate?

In a time of bank bail-outs, airline strikes and manufacturing recalls trust in business has taken a nose-dive. Lack of trust is a major barrier to business success, undermining critical relationships and exposing an organisation to what can be painful scrutiny and challenge.  

Communication plays an essential role in rebuilding trust but with multiple media delivering many messages, 24/7, many CEOs and senior leaders can struggle to get their messages across effectively. Similarly, it can also be difficult to hear all the incoming messages from stakeholders – who today include not just colleagues, investors and analysts but also consumers, pressure groups, politicians and media.

Leaders must adopt a more ‘intimate’ approach if they are to communicate and engage successfully with today’s increasingly diverse stakeholder groups, particularly as they lead their organisations through profound change.

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What is intimate leadership?

Although the term ‘intimate’ might sound strange in this context, intimacy in leadership brings people closer together by creating an authentic dialogue and improving access to all stakeholders. Paradoxically, the digital world of emails, text messaging, mobile, Twitter and so on can create distance in communications; a more intimate approach can help to rectify this. 

Intimate leaders demonstrate a commitment to engage; strong behavioural rapport with employees and stakeholders; candour and transparency; and accessibility and proximity. Fundamentally, there is a respect for – and interest in – the views of others, and they interact openly and naturally.   

How to become more intimate

There are many barriers, behavioural and otherwise, that hinder intimacy. However, there are several things that leaders can focus on: 

1. Try a low-tech approach

Despite the apparent immediacy of email and so on, traditional approaches can be more effective. British Airways CEO Willie Walsh boarded a test flight through the Icelandic ash cloud, sending out a far more persuasive message in support of re-opening airspace than any website statement could have done.

2. Avoid over-reliance on the rational

Intimacy is rooted in the world of emotions, beliefs and feelings. One CEO of a building firm connects effectively with his workforce by discussing health and safety in terms not of metrics but of business values and the emotional impact of potential accidents on employees’ family, friends and workmates.

3. Be accessible

In an age of email, mobile, text and Twitter, inaccessibility appears inexcusable to stakeholders. People should be able to engage in dialogue with senior leaders, whether they want to discuss a crisis or a consumer complaint. Microsoft’s Steve Burchell gives out his email address at the end of speeches. AT&T, by contrast, reportedly came under fire recently for threatening legal action against a customer who emailed the CEO directly with a complaint. 

4. Show humility 

Not knowing the solution to a problem is not a weakness; attempting to close down a difficult question, without acknowledging the problem, is. In a complex world, no one has all the answers. That’s why organisations build talented teams. Look to your employees to solve problems, and let them know you do.

5. Trust your feelings, and those of others.

Have the courage to express your thoughts, beliefs and vision. Solicit intelligent questions, encourage debate, demand dialogue and tolerate dissent. CEOs who do this are trusted by colleagues, peers and other stakeholders, and ultimately get superior performance.  For examplethe Chief Executive of a healthcare organisation whose intimate leadership style means she facilitates superior performance from her organisation.

To find out more about using intimate leadership to achieve superior results and how to get your organisation fit for the future, please contact us now